That's a long story, I will be as brief as possible.
1: Raised by atheists who mocked religion at every opportunity.
2: Went to a school where religious assemblies were mandatory.
3: Listened to the stories as a 7 year old and thought they were bollocks.
4: At 19 I realised how big the universe was, accepted there must be life elsewhere (not visiting us), philosophised that some could be god-like compared with me.
5: Over time became a theist.
6: At some point during a hypnotherapy session I went to heaven and met Jesus
7: One day I had a sudden urge to read the language section of my wife's college course booklet, I hated languages!
8: I opened the book and it fell open at the languages page, with my eyes on Arabic - must be a sign from God.
9: We experienced a miscarriage, I had a bit of a mental breakdown.
10: I started to believe God was talking to me whenever I meditated in the shower. Even revealing something to me using Arabic words I had not yet learned which when checked confirmed what he was telling me in English - turns out I just picked up those words subliminally from another part of my exercise book
11: A Muslim friend at my kids' school told me that the Quran is the exact words of God and therefore without mistakes, and that it contained information that Muhammad could not possibly have known.
12: Suddenly I realised, this is EXACTLY how I would expect God to give a clear message to mankind without being as obvious as to appear in person.
13: I started to look into the Quran and Islamic miracles.
14: I decided the Quran was the biggest piece of shit I have ever read, especially poor considering he had over 20 years to write it.
15: I realised that each time I investigated a miracle claim that impressed me it was either falsely translated, a mathematical trick, or the information was stolen from somewhere else.
Ultimately a man with no legs on YouTube pointed me towards Richard Dawkins videos (I had never heard of him before.) I watched a lot of those and he connected perfectly with the logical part of my brain, which is the part of my brain that I was trying to get to reconcile my belief in God and failing to do so.
Suddenly one day I realised "I am an atheist, I was always an atheist, I just WANTED God to be real". Suddenly the daily feeling of not being good enough etc were all gone and I felt free.
So I'd say I've been looking at it for about 2 or 3 years, not quite sure. Ironically Islam helped to make me an atheist. It raised my expectations, rather than "Blessed is he who believes without seeing" it changed my mindset to "If God wants me to live my whole life in a certain way, why is it unreasonable for him to prove I am not just being tricked?"
I WANTED Islam to be true. There were parts I didn't like, but I was willing to put up with those in order to have proof that God existed. My wife even agreed to wear a Hijab, that is how far we took our discussion on the matter - she's glad it didn't happen though
I found though that not only are the miracle claimers liars but also the people who are anti-Islamic. Taking Quran verses out of context (which of course terrorist brain washers do too) and making things out to be wrong when they are not. I have an obsession with the truth and with honesty, so I had to look into it all for myself and tell people what I find. It's like a mental challenge, trying to work out how a magician does his trick
So much for "short"
wow. excellent story...
#6 worried me.
but thankfully there was a happy ending.
sorry to revive this old thread.