Elle, there is Two aspects when discussing islam.
Islamology: Discussing Islamic material (most books) and rulings explicit and implicit.
Muslimology: Discussing muslims.
Most ex-muslims are very weary of damaging muslims while discussing islam. And I recommend you steer clear of engaging in muslimology (even/specially with Westerners) unless/until you really know what you are doing, after several years even I still avoid muslimology.
To give you an example, the title of your piece was "Ambiguities in the koran" (Islamology), you discussed abrogation (Islamology), then you veered off to "Islam is Pease" (muslimology). "Islam is Peace" is never mentioned in any authentic islamic book, it is only said and repeated by non-arab muslims as a way to be able to sleep better at night.
Now you notice no one jumped you for discussing 'abrogation' (Islamology). I recommend that for now, you stick to discussing islam and if you were to discuss muslimology then be very specific and avoid generalization.
Here is an example of muslimology generalization that you should avoid and never repeat:
Hey Hassan good to see you again, did you check the latest
Google Trends, remember that exercise? How come muslim ruled and muslim majority populations always show up on top when we conduct this search? Why are they so deprived in the land of Taqwa and Iman? I know we make fun of Catholic priests and stuff but I do not see Italy or Spain in that list, how come? wtf is up with that and plz make sure all the kids around you do not end up in that loop. Good to see you again buddy
Baal, well that is a new one on me, i.e. the separation between, Islamology and Muslimology. I have never come across the latter until this moment. I always was under the impression that they were tightly intertwined and inseparable. I personally would find it an impossible task trying to discuss one without involved the other. Do you, Baal, have some secret formula that you are able to separate the two?
Basically, if you talk about action as done by and to muslims, then you are discussing muslimology, if you describe scripture then islamology.
Another differentiation is Actions. If you attack an action as described by islamic scripture, then it is islamology. If you discuss the same action as performed by some muslims, then it becomes islamology.
Example: If you are complaining that some muslims stoned that 13yr old girl in somalia and that some other muslim spectators gave their lives trying to save her, then this is muslimology. If you discuss that islamic scriptures permit the stoning of a 13yr old girl then you are discussing islamology.
Usually talking about muslimology will be filed under: Hate against a group, Appeals to numbers, Appeals to the exceptions, Appeals to the vivid, etc.
As for a good safety lock to proceed if you are not sure is to, pretend that being muslim is a race. Anything you would not say in public about blacks, chinese, indians, jews, whites, etc. , you should refrain from saying about muslims. Now I know that being muslim is not a race but generally they are more touchy about it then if they were actually a race.
Now I will engage in some muslimology:
For many muslims they identify with islam more then their race, their nationality, their profession or their role as a parent. If you ask people to describe themselves in One word, a person might say, student, father, doctor, engineer, mother, teacher, etc. But for most muslims in islamic countries, the majority will describe themselves as 'muslim'. This is why you are safe if you treat islam as a race even though I do not believe it to be a race. And this is also why muslim apostates usually suffer a minor/major identity crisis when they leave the "True Deen".