The moderate Islam you grew up with is one that has been modernized by current cultural values.
The reality you will see by the current readings of the translations you are doing, i.e. the true Islam, you will see is more akin to the 'fundamentalism' you describe.
However even if it is not sincere, I agree that a bastardised apologist version of Islam is far better than the real one. Even if it does manage to prolong its downfall.
Ye I agree with you there are definitely verses that do substantiate the claims of the radicalists, which I cam across in 4:34 which states to admonish women and then hit them or scourge them as it said in the translation i was reading. However on the other hand I try to be 100% objective on undertaking this journey , if you will, and I try to grasp both sides of the argument and evaluate criticisms.
Look for me I have never been raised up religiously as I have mentioned already but I can understand how when you are raised religiously and then you find such verse or hadiths there is this polar opposite image in your head of the Islam you thought was the truth, and there is this sudden backlash against Islam. That is why some people leaving Islam feel they have been conned their entire lives which is the case or at least have been denied the whole truth. As a result some have this embittered attiitude towards Islam now. For me I have slowly become more open-mined and critical of my faith considering I did believe in my own idealised version of Islam. I don't want to slap the misogynist label on Islam just like that because I know there also positive aspects to Islam regarding women. I own this book called Gender and Women in Islamby Leila Ahmed, from my reading of it is a balanced book. I created a topic for this book but it did not get that much attention although I recommend it to you if you are wondering why there are Muslim women who do hold on to Islam. The book actually does confront the sexist elements in Islam but a the same time provides hope for those who believe in a non-sexist form of Islam.