TheDarkRebel, to sort of come to your defense here, I was (am?) like that, too. I thought I wasn't going to get married, and cohabitation makes me claustrophobic. I'm not a romantic person. When I
did get married, it was in a little mosque in my normal "mosque clothes" with some of my family and some of his, right after maghrib (as the regulars finished their prayers, the imam was like, "Good news! We're having a wedding right now, so everyone stay where you are"
). My husband wants to have a classic wedding with the dress and the cake and all the relatives someday, but I'd rather spend our money and time on something useful.
I'm also like you in that I want my space. After I got married, we spent several months living apart. It was part of my conditions of marriage, in fact. He could come and spend the night whenever he wanted, but for the rest of the time, I wanted my own apartment, the ability to lock my doors and be alone. And, although I've gotten better after living with him, when he's away for a day or so and I have the house to myself, I feel like I'm on vacation.
And I was never in the sort of powerful love that I see other people think they are in. It just didn't happen with me. I never felt like I
needed to be with him. And I am not jealous, either. I have had many serious discussions with him encouraging him to take a second wife if we are to stay together (I do not want kids and he does). And I do know that, if we have to divorce, I will remember how to live without him, and life will go on. There are so many things that I'd rather have before a perfect relationship, and it's always been that way, so I do think I know what you're talking about.
However, just from my personal experience, and I know you're probably much different, even though I didn't see the importance in romantic love (and still don't in some ways), and even though there are things I value more, and even though I reallllly like my own space and my own bed and my own room, I
did get married and betray all of that. There's something out there, and I hope you don't catch it if you don't want to. But if something like love sneaks up on you the way it did for me, maybe, just maybe, you'll share my fate, and one day you'll be brushing your teeth at the sink and looking down at someone else's toothbrush in your cup and someone else's toiletries lining the sink and someone else's clothes in your hamper and someone else's greying hair in your hairbrush wondering what the hell happened to you.
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