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 Topic: Berbs Blog, much madness within

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  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #690 - May 26, 2008, 06:40 PM
    Quote from: diotima on May 26, 2008, 06:27 PM

    Get the postponement, if AT ALL possible - AND organise some net for yourself for when the day comes!! Friends (and hey - hassan IS a great guy!!), social service agency.. DON`T GO ALONE OR ONLY WITH LAWYER!!
    You need someone to help you emotionally, too!!
    At least - make someone meet you after, to take you for a drink, calm down - At LEAST!

    If possible, arrange for your kids to be away for the day... so you have some breathing space to regroup, before you have to deal with them again...


    I'll try.  Smiley

    I'll phone the solicitor tomorrow and ask her to arrange a postponement, the judge will not be pleased, it will look bad on me, but really I don't care, it's not like they serve justice fairly anyway.
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #691 - May 26, 2008, 06:41 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 26, 2008, 06:40 PM
    Quote from: diotima on May 26, 2008, 06:27 PM

    Get the postponement, if AT ALL possible - AND organise some net for yourself for when the day comes!! Friends (and hey - hassan IS a great guy!!), social service agency.. DON`T GO ALONE OR ONLY WITH LAWYER!!
    You need someone to help you emotionally, too!!
    At least - make someone meet you after, to take you for a drink, calm down - At LEAST!

    If possible, arrange for your kids to be away for the day... so you have some breathing space to regroup, before you have to deal with them again...


    I'll try.  Smiley

    I'll phone the solicitor tomorrow and ask her to arrange a postponement, the judge will not be pleased, it will look bad on me, but really I don't care, it's not like they serve justice fairly anyway.


    Let her tell the judge you are reacting very, very badly to the idea of facing him alone, result of years of trauma (that the judge knows all about!!) your ex put you through!
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #692 - May 27, 2008, 11:13 AM
    Berbs - did you talk to the lawyer or the judge?
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #693 - May 27, 2008, 06:51 PM
    Quote from: diotima on May 27, 2008, 11:13 AM
    Berbs - did you talk to the lawyer or the judge?


    The lawyer/solicitor, but it's ok, I feel more able since my sister said she would come with me.  It was more the thought of turning up totally alone that was frightening me.  I can face him as long as someone is with me.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #694 - May 27, 2008, 09:13 PM
    Rightyo, Cheetahs wish is about to come true, I am going to get naked, cool2 and have a bath lol 001_tongue

    Then I'm tucking myself up under me blanket, on me sofa to watch Lady Vengeance.  cool2

    Can't believe it's quarter past ten already.  wacko

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #695 - May 27, 2008, 09:23 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 27, 2008, 09:13 PM
    Rightyo, Cheetahs wish is about to come true, I am going to get naked, cool2 and have a bath lol 001_tongue

    Then I'm tucking myself up under me blanket, on me sofa to watch Lady Vengeance.  cool2

    Can't believe it's quarter past ten already.  wacko




    Take a pic!!! popcorn
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #696 - May 29, 2008, 05:24 PM
    Court was shit, I failed in everyway possible when I had a panic attack and left the court room.

    I gave him great pleasure in seeing how weak and broken I am.

    The judge provoked the panic attack by basically saying that it isn't his problem if I am not represented, and that even if the solicitor wasn't sorted in 3 weeks he would still be hold a hearing about parental responsibility which my ex has demanded.

    There was talk of turning this into a custody hearing based on my depression.

    I just couldn't get the right words out, and I ran out of there.

    It's a new judge, who looked at me like I was to blame for everything, and that I was just one of those mothers trying it on for revenge.

    Whatever. 
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #697 - May 29, 2008, 05:25 PM
    Thanks serquet and dio for the pm's of support today  Smiley.  I'm not up for much talking right now anyway.  Too upset.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #698 - May 29, 2008, 05:41 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 29, 2008, 05:24 PM
    Court was shit, I failed in everyway possible when I had a panic attack and left the court room.

    I gave him great pleasure in seeing how weak and broken I am.

    The judge provoked the panic attack by basically saying that it isn't his problem if I am not represented, and that even if the solicitor wasn't sorted in 3 weeks he would still be hold a hearing about parental responsibility which my ex has demanded.

    There was talk of turning this into a custody hearing based on my depression.

    I just couldn't get the right words out, and I ran out of there.

    It's a new judge, who looked at me like I was to blame for everything, and that I was just one of those mothers trying it on for revenge.

    Whatever. 

    Oh, I WISH I could have a word with that nincompoop shitface judge!!
    You NEED that lawyer to accompany you!
    Though things might not be as bad, as your panic makes you assume they are... try to get rid of  judge based on his behaviour!
    Did you report back to lawyer, yet? Write down what happened, and tell her tomorrow!!
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #699 - May 29, 2008, 05:47 PM
    Quote from: diotima on May 29, 2008, 05:41 PM

    Oh, I WISH I could have a word with that nincompoop shitface judge!!
    You NEED that lawyer to accompany you!
    Though things might not be as bad, as your panic makes you assume they are... try to get rid of  judge based on his behaviour!
    Did you report back to lawyer, yet? Write down what happened, and tell her tomorrow!!


    Not had a chance to speak with the solicitor about today.  When everyone had left and I unlocked the toilet I barricaded myself into during the panic attack I went for a coffee with my sister than left her and caught a train to the river side.  Sat in the rain staring at the water for the rest of the day. 

    I made a fool of myself today, I started shaking so badly and couldn't breathe, and I ran out of there.  banghead 

    I'm signing off for a bit, I'm so upset right now.  It was as bad as I thought it would be and more, and now I look even more incapable than ever.

    I know many people hate me online and in real life but seriously, they could never hate me as much as I do.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #700 - May 29, 2008, 05:50 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 29, 2008, 05:47 PM
    Quote from: diotima on May 29, 2008, 05:41 PM

    Oh, I WISH I could have a word with that nincompoop shitface judge!!
    You NEED that lawyer to accompany you!
    Though things might not be as bad, as your panic makes you assume they are... try to get rid of  judge based on his behaviour!
    Did you report back to lawyer, yet? Write down what happened, and tell her tomorrow!!


    Not had a chance to speak with the solicitor about today.  When everyone had left and I unlocked the toilet I barricaded myself into during the panic attack I went for a coffee with my sister than left her and caught a train to the river side.  Sat in the rain staring at the water for the rest of the day. 

    I made a fool of myself today, I started shaking so badly and couldn't breathe, and I ran out of there.  banghead 

    I'm signing off for a bit, I'm so upset right now.  It was as bad as I thought it would be and more, and now I look even more incapable than ever.

    I know many people hate me online and in real life but seriously, they could never hate me as much as I do.



    Berbs, there´s TONS of people, who LOVE you! Forget about the shitface in the wig! HE made a fool of himself, and worse than a fool - an incompetent, heartless prick, is what he showed himself to be!

    Relax, and talk to lawyer tomorrow. I hope, your new one has a bit of understanding of your situation, and empathy... and a kind heart instead of merely a checkbook (apart from a shrewd head on her shoulders...).

    Hugs, hugs, and more hugs!! Big hug
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #701 - May 29, 2008, 05:50 PM
    I doubt anyone hates you, stop being so hard on yourself. Smiley   Anyway, sorry to hear you had a shitty day.
    Ha Ha.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #702 - May 29, 2008, 06:23 PM
    Don't worry about it Berbs... Things will work out... I would say something better but am too tipsy...
    Left the forum: http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=22997
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #703 - May 29, 2008, 06:25 PM
    You were already too anxious before stepping into the courtyard, now it seems things are worse. We all suffer self-hating periods, you'll start loving yourself again.

    Quote
    I know many people hate me online and in real life but seriously, they could never hate me as much as I do.


    Of course not, we love our forum Goddess.  dance
    Islam: where idiots meet terrorists.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #704 - May 29, 2008, 06:29 PM
    You'll be fine Berbs, just make sure the legal representation is sorted before you next go to court.   Smiley
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #705 - May 29, 2008, 06:29 PM
    Hay Berbs. No one hates you, well I don't anyway... I think your a lovely person, kind hearted, etc... Things have just built up and are on top of you, your just having a bad day. What has happened today, is in the past now, you need to learn from the experience and move on... Thinking about the past and feeling sorry for yourself will not change anything... Feeling sorry for yourself and angry at yourself are the worst things you can do.
    Left the forum: http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=22997
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #706 - May 29, 2008, 06:35 PM
    Berbs,

    I am so sorry about today.  You did not deserve to be treated like that and to be put in that situation.  You are very loved.   hugs  You are a strong and wonderful woman.  Absolutely none of this was your fault.  The fault lies squarely on this ignorant judge and the negligence of you solicitors (current and past)!

    You did nothing wrong.  You have a right to legal representation specifically to prevent situations like these from happening.  Tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully your new solicitor will get involved immediately.  This may all come to nothing but just a really shit day in court and a bad experience.

    Much love,

    Serquet

    p.s. what I'd like to do the judge:   Shooter
    Mohammed ordered Kinana b. al Rabi' to be gruesomely tortured and then decapitated.  The 'prophet' then 'married' Kinana's wife, Safiyya.  He had her husband, her father and her people killed.  

    Sirat Rasul Allah by Ibn Ishaq 

    Mohammed was a rapist and a murderer.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #707 - May 30, 2008, 09:59 AM
    Thanks guys, I was all over the place yesterday but I'm ok now.  Smiley

    As the saying goes "Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." and I may have had a fail yesterday, but next time may not be the same.

    I shouldn't have been forced to go in inspite of not having legal representation, a mistake that will not happen again.  finmad
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #708 - May 30, 2008, 10:22 AM
    Oof. I missed all this yesterday. Don't you have duty solicitors in the UK? Over here it is impossible to go to court without legal representation unless you demand to defend yourself.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #709 - May 30, 2008, 10:28 AM
    Quote from: osmanthus on May 30, 2008, 10:22 AM
    Oof. I missed all this yesterday. Don't you have duty solicitors in the UK? Over here it is impossible to go to court without legal representation unless you demand to defend yourself.


    We do have duty solicitors but not for this kind of case.  wacko

    It doesn't matter though, KT is right, it's in the past now and it will not happen again.  By the time we are in court again my new solicitor should have the finances sorted out but if she still hasn't I will simply refuse to attand court next time round.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #710 - May 30, 2008, 10:34 AM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 30, 2008, 10:28 AM
    Quote from: osmanthus on May 30, 2008, 10:22 AM
    Oof. I missed all this yesterday. Don't you have duty solicitors in the UK? Over here it is impossible to go to court without legal representation unless you demand to defend yourself.


    We do have duty solicitors but not for this kind of case.  wacko

    Fuckwits.

    Quote
    It doesn't matter though, KT is right, it's in the past now and it will not happen again.  By the time we are in court again my new solicitor should have the finances sorted out but if she still hasn't I will simply refuse to attend court next time round.

    Well you do have a legal right to representation, so if your solicitor fucks up the court should cut you some slack.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #711 - May 30, 2008, 10:37 AM
    Quote from: osmanthus on May 30, 2008, 10:34 AM

    Well you do have a legal right to representation, so if your solicitor fucks up the court should cut you some slack.


    You would think they would, but that's part of where the panic attack at court came from yesterday, the judge pretty much said he didn;t care and intended to go ahead with a very serious part of the hearing with or without a legal representative for me.

    It turns out that being mid solicitors is a tactic used by some women to prolong court, which I wasn't fucking doing but the judge believed I was because he is a twat.  finmad
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #712 - May 30, 2008, 12:38 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 29, 2008, 05:24 PM
    Court was shit, I failed in everyway possible when I had a panic attack and left the court room.

    I gave him great pleasure in seeing how weak and broken I am.

    The judge provoked the panic attack by basically saying that it isn't his problem if I am not represented, and that even if the solicitor wasn't sorted in 3 weeks he would still be hold a hearing about parental responsibility which my ex has demanded.

    There was talk of turning this into a custody hearing based on my depression.

    I just couldn't get the right words out, and I ran out of there.

    It's a new judge, who looked at me like I was to blame for everything, and that I was just one of those mothers trying it on for revenge.

    Whatever. 


    So sorry to hear about what happened yesterday, Berbs. I can't believe the Judge is being so stupid - it really makes me angry.

    But don't get stressed - things will work out OK, I'm sure of it. Just hang in there.

    hugs
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #713 - May 30, 2008, 12:44 PM
    Quote from: Hassan on May 30, 2008, 12:38 PM


    So sorry to hear about what happened yesterday, Berbs. I can't believe the Judge is being so stupid - it really makes me angry.

    But don't get stressed - things will work out OK, I'm sure of it. Just hang in there.

    hugs


    Thanks Hass hugs

    I am back in court on the second week of July, which should give the solicitors enough time to sort the finances and to get all the evidence I need gathered.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #714 - May 30, 2008, 12:47 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 30, 2008, 12:44 PM
    Quote from: Hassan on May 30, 2008, 12:38 PM


    So sorry to hear about what happened yesterday, Berbs. I can't believe the Judge is being so stupid - it really makes me angry.

    But don't get stressed - things will work out OK, I'm sure of it. Just hang in there.

    hugs


    Thanks Hass hugs

    I am back in court on the second week of July, which should give the solicitors enough time to sort the finances and to get all the evidence I need gathered.



    keep kicking that solicitor´s arse!
    I really don´t understand, how your system works...
    she was probably afraid she´d end up not being paid, if she went, and legal aid couldn´t be sorted...
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #715 - May 30, 2008, 12:52 PM
    Quote from: diotima on May 30, 2008, 12:47 PM

    keep kicking that solicitor´s arse!
    I really don´t understand, how your system works...
    she was probably afraid she´d end up not being paid, if she went, and legal aid couldn´t be sorted...



    I don't know, she said she was legally not allowed to accompany me to court or to act on my behalf anymore than a letter until the finances were sorted, that the court could have actually penalised her firm for acting on my behalf.  wacko
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #716 - May 30, 2008, 12:55 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 30, 2008, 12:52 PM
    Quote from: diotima on May 30, 2008, 12:47 PM

    keep kicking that solicitor´s arse!
    I really don´t understand, how your system works...
    she was probably afraid she´d end up not being paid, if she went, and legal aid couldn´t be sorted...



    I don't know, she said she was legally not allowed to accompany me to court or to act on my behalf anymore than a letter until the finances were sorted, that the court could have actually penalised her firm for acting on my behalf.  wacko


    That just sounds fishy to me!  She should at the very least notified your judge directly to try and get a new court date.  She knew your background and sent you in there alone!   finmad

    She is also aware of how this change of solicitor could appear to the judge.  She should have done something for you!!!
    Mohammed ordered Kinana b. al Rabi' to be gruesomely tortured and then decapitated.  The 'prophet' then 'married' Kinana's wife, Safiyya.  He had her husband, her father and her people killed.  

    Sirat Rasul Allah by Ibn Ishaq 

    Mohammed was a rapist and a murderer.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #717 - May 30, 2008, 01:01 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 30, 2008, 12:44 PM
    Quote from: Hassan on May 30, 2008, 12:38 PM


    So sorry to hear about what happened yesterday, Berbs. I can't believe the Judge is being so stupid - it really makes me angry.

    But don't get stressed - things will work out OK, I'm sure of it. Just hang in there.

    hugs


    Thanks Hass hugs

    I am back in court on the second week of July, which should give the solicitors enough time to sort the finances and to get all the evidence I need gathered.


    Good - I hope they get their act together. Just remember to keep calm inside - try not to let anything upset you (yeah - I know I'm a fine one to speak).

    Whenever you start to feel a panic attack coming on or that you're getting stressed - just remind yourself that inside you are strong and you are better than this and you have been through worse - and that no matter what happens you will prevail in the end.



  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #718 - May 30, 2008, 01:12 PM
    Quote from: Serquet11 on May 30, 2008, 12:55 PM



    That just sounds fishy to me!  She should at the very least notified your judge directly to try and get a new court date.  She knew your background and sent you in there alone!   finmad

    She is also aware of how this change of solicitor could appear to the judge.  She should have done something for you!!!


    She did try and get them to postpone, she faxed a letter over to the court explaining the situation to the court, but the judge refused to postpone.

    I'm going to write a letter to her today, covering all the points I did note down before I ran out of the room, and also saying I want to make a formal complaint that I was made to go in without representation, and that the judge only spoke to me as an afterthought, where he said "Oops, I suppose I better speak to the mother" (his face said it all)

    I am also going to write up a statement so that she really gets a better understanding of the situation.  She hasn't even had a chance to look at my case files yet becasue she needs the old solicitors to send it all over.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #719 - May 30, 2008, 01:17 PM
    Quote from: Hassan on May 30, 2008, 01:01 PM


    Good - I hope they get their act together. Just remember to keep calm inside - try not to let anything upset you (yeah - I know I'm a fine one to speak).

    Whenever you start to feel a panic attack coming on or that you're getting stressed - just remind yourself that inside you are strong and you are better than this and you have been through worse - and that no matter what happens you will prevail in the end.






    I couldn't think anything when it started happening, I started shaking and the room started spinning, I had hot flushes and my breathing became erratic, by the time I got to the toilet I could barely draw breath in and felt really faint.  It's the flight part of the panic attack, apparantly it causes the chemicals you get just before a physical fight, the adrenaline rush, to come up making you feel a fight or flight feeling, and I couldn't fight anything feeling that way I just ran out.

    It took me ages to get myself under control again.  I feel them coming on when I spend too much time thinking about what if's, and looking too far forward.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
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