You know you're an ex muslim when......

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #180 - August 19, 2010, 02:17 PM

Quote from: Prince Spinoza on August 19, 2010, 02:06 PM
You lock yourself in the toilet to have a banana.

Don't Poo otherwise you might throw said snaffled banana up thus negating any sleuthing thing, although could use it as an I am ill and need not to fast thing.
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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #181 - August 19, 2010, 02:49 PM

When you use all the knowledge and science of humans lying in order to lie effectively about not fasting.

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #182 - August 19, 2010, 04:06 PM

Quote from: BerberElla on November 09, 2008, 09:35 AM
You panic if a muslim stranger asks you if you are a muslim.

This.

Or when you tell them your name, they go "Mashallah", and tell you a long story about its Islamic origins.

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #183 - August 19, 2010, 04:28 PM

My name is Abdullah (Abd-Allah), because I worship the Meccan pagan creator-god Allah.
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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #184 - August 19, 2010, 04:35 PM

You know you are ex-muslim when...

A Muslim, who still thinks you are Muslim says salam alaikum, and you say, whatever whats up.

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #185 - August 19, 2010, 05:02 PM

Quote from: Abood on August 19, 2010, 04:28 PM
My name is Abdullah (Abd-Allah), because I worship the Meccan pagan creator-god Allah.

That's how Muhammad got Islam running, by centralizing it around the principle deity of the pagans.

And then winning over the support of Jews and Christians by projecting a singularity between the Meccan god and Yahweh, by putting Allah in the context of biblical stories, which he had heard from his days as a merchant in Khadija's caravan.

And upon usurping enough power, he asserted dominance over both the pagans and Jews/Christians.

The pagans were guilty of worshiping Allah's daughters, and the Jews and Christians of weak monotheism.

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #186 - August 19, 2010, 05:59 PM

Yep. Muhammad really knew how to unite people and get a strong army going. And now that I know this, I'm more confident in my disbelief than ever.
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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #187 - August 19, 2010, 08:42 PM

-you fake your period during ramadan just to get out of going to iftar at the masjid, thinking some scholar is going to be there

-you stare at hot women's asses at the masjid while praying @ masjid

-you keep fucking up at all the little friday prayer rituals

-you can't think of many interesting informationz relating to the statement you know you're an ex-muslim when....

-lastly, you know you're an ex muslim when Islam has become about as interesting as a child screaming loudly while you're engaged in something interesting. YOU JUST WANT IT TO SHUT UP AND GO AWAY.

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #188 - August 19, 2010, 10:55 PM

When you read 1984 and notice all the relations with the perils of Islam!

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #189 - August 19, 2010, 10:58 PM

Quote from: Ephemeral on August 19, 2010, 08:42 PM
-you stare at hot women's asses at the masjid while praying @ masjid

? hot women`s ass at masjid ?

i thought the tent they wear doesn't show shit. even when they bend over it

also hot women in masjid ? that is kind of unusual

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #190 - August 19, 2010, 11:02 PM

C'mon now, women in masjids can be as hot as women anywhere else. Women are women afterall.

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #191 - August 19, 2010, 11:07 PM

I have seen some hot nuns

So once again I'm left with the classic Irish man's dilemma, do I eat the potato or do I let it ferment so I can drink it later?
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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #192 - August 19, 2010, 11:10 PM

When you realise that there are still 4 rakahs left of taraweeh and let out a huge sigh which causes 3 rows either side to turn and stare at you.

When you look guilty as fuck trying to pretend you said alhamdulillah during the above.
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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #193 - August 19, 2010, 11:14 PM

You're having to pray taraweeh, Prince. That's tortuous.

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #194 - August 19, 2010, 11:15 PM

Yeah and the guy takes the piss. Almost 2 hours long. :(
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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #195 - August 19, 2010, 11:54 PM

Quote from: Kod on August 19, 2010, 10:58 PM
? hot women`s ass at masjid ?

i thought the tent they wear doesn't show shit. even when they bend over it

also hot women in masjid ? that is kind of unusual

The women I refer to was wearing a clingy long skirt and top

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #196 - August 19, 2010, 11:57 PM

When you reluctantly go to the mosque for Friday/Eid prayer and you don't say "Ameen" after every sentence of the dua that the Imam reads.

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #197 - August 19, 2010, 11:59 PM

yeah when I went, I just stared at everyone and didnt bother making the dua hands. You know, when it looks like there is something dangerous being contained within the hands, or everyone really wants food.

"If intelligence is feminine... I would want that mine would, in a resolute movement, come to resemble an impious woman."
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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #198 - August 20, 2010, 12:10 AM

I relucantly went to Jumma last week and in the dua, typically the Imam was saying stuff like...

Oh Allah... protect the Muslims in the World
Oh Allah... protect the Muslims in Pakistan
Oh Allah... protect the Muslims in India
Oh Allah... give the Muslims victory wherever they are
Oh Allah... wherever the Muslims are suffering, remove all their hardship and suffering
Oh Allah... give Muslims health

It was all Muslims Muslims Muslims! I obviously didn't say "ameen" to any of that.

I don't have that stupid "us vs them" mentality. I wish EVERY human being well. I want to remove the suffering of ALL human beings.

On a side note, at my cousins wedding last year the Imam did a dua and he said...

Oh Allah... give this couple the same love that Muhammad had for Khadija
Oh Allah... give this couple the same love that Muhammad had for Aisha

Instead of saying "ameen", I wanted to scream out..... "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #199 - August 20, 2010, 01:46 AM

I know that I am an ex Muslim now that I feel more welcomed in my non-Muslim family events.

I don't hear from my mom that she hates the Islam phase I'm going through.

Being able to eat pork again.

Not feeling guilty about reading about other faiths.

Not feeling guilty when I step into my grandma's house, which she has tons of crosses hanging up.

Being able to drink (but not too much because of alcoholism history in the family and my medication).

Seeing Muslim women in hijab or burqa and feeling bad for them.

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #200 - August 20, 2010, 02:43 AM

Quote from: olweasel on August 19, 2010, 04:06 PM
This.

Or when you tell them your name, they go "Mashallah", and tell you a long story about its Islamic origins.

This reminds of an interesting experience I had while walking on a downtown street in beautiful warm summer evening. All of a sudden I heard' "salaam alaikum". I was surprised because it is very rare to hear those words in the city where I live - so I looked at the gentleman with amazement. I know the response. But before I could open my mouth, the man asked, "are you a Muslim"? I just raised my both hands and said, "thank God I am not a Muslim". He stared at me so I repeated, "thank God I am not a Muslim". He just shook his head and walked away.

But before that I had 2 experiences with Muslims. I was visiting Syracuse University in Syracuse, NY. One guy walked up to me and asked me, "are you a Muslim?" I said, "no". He just walked away. I had similar experience in Canada. One Pakistani asked me in Hindi (or Urdu if you like), "are you a Muslim?" I said, "no". He walked away too.

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #201 - August 20, 2010, 03:23 PM

Quote from: Prince Spinoza on August 19, 2010, 11:10 PM
When you realise that there are still 4 rakahs left of taraweeh and let out a huge sigh which causes 3 rows either side to turn and stare at you.

When you look guilty as fuck trying to pretend you said alhamdulillah during the above.

Or when you manage to leave for water, only for an old, bearded busybody to come tell you to get back in there and pray.

Or when it's finally over they start chanting:

"Subhana zil mulki wal malakoot, Subhana zil izzti wal azmati, Wal haibati, wal qudrati, wal kibri yaa-i wal jabroot. Subhanal malakil hai yil lazee, la yanamu wa-la yamoot, Sub-boo-hun, qud-du-sun, rabbana, Wa rabbul ma laai katu wa rooh. Allah humma A' jirna min an naar Ya mujeer'u ya mujeeru ya mujeer."

...And you find yourself trying not to say "WTF?".

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #202 - August 20, 2010, 03:45 PM

You know, you're allowed to miss as much rakaahs as you want in taraweeh.
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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #203 - August 20, 2010, 03:56 PM

The busybodies say it's mandatory, and they'll make you go pray no matter what.

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #204 - August 20, 2010, 04:05 PM

Tell them taraweeh is sunnah, not mandatory.
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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #205 - August 20, 2010, 04:24 PM

Quote from: Shahid Raza on August 20, 2010, 12:10 AM
I relucantly went to Jumma last week and in the dua, typically the Imam was saying stuff like...

Oh Allah... protect the Muslims in the World
Oh Allah... protect the Muslims in Pakistan
Oh Allah... protect the Muslims in India
Oh Allah... give the Muslims victory wherever they are
Oh Allah... wherever the Muslims are suffering, remove all their hardship and suffering
Oh Allah... give Muslims health

It was all Muslims Muslims Muslims! I obviously didn't say "ameen" to any of that.

I don't have that stupid "us vs them" mentality. I wish EVERY human being well. I want to remove the suffering of ALL human beings.

On a side note, at my cousins wedding last year the Imam did a dua and he said...

Oh Allah... give this couple the same love that Muhammad had for Khadija
Oh Allah... give this couple the same love that Muhammad had for Aisha

Instead of saying "ameen", I wanted to scream out..... "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #206 - August 24, 2010, 06:02 PM

you know you're an ex muslim when :

- you lock yourself in the bathroom at work to smoke a cigarette by the fan and spraying air freshner near the door when you're done . you also look very guilty coming out of the bathroom so you pretend like you were just making wudu.

- you plan when you will pretend to have you period. for me , it will be the last week of Ramadan so i can enjoy that last week and feel done with the month. even though my period usually lasts 5 days

- you make up an excuse about not liking the dates your being offered at fotoor. only to have your family buy new kinds of dates the next day .

- you get pleasantly surprised and inspired to say something when a muslim expresses some disbelief in religious claims.

- you secretly make a cup of coffee and have a cig right before and after work and sit by the window/balcony.

-you can't help staring when someone says hamdullilah laka ashokor after eating .

- you feel bottled up at the mere mention of Allah in praise.

- your sister in law thinks your religiously poor and tells you what you should say when the mention of mohammed comes up . you ignore it , stay quiet and feel silly .

- when you feel annoyed that your brother is accompanying you as a mahram in your short holiday .

i'm so coming out in the future ..one step at a time though. i don't want it to seem like a rebellious thing or out of a whim.

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #207 - August 24, 2010, 10:28 PM

Quote from: mufa9a on August 24, 2010, 06:02 PM
you get pleasantly surprised and inspired to say something when a muslim expresses some disbelief in religious claims.

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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #208 - August 24, 2010, 10:50 PM

You know you're an ex-muslim when you can read in a verse in the Quran and ask yourself 'why?' without immediately realizing you've just made a terrible mistake.

You know you're an ex-muslim when a non-believer asks you a question about some confusion he has about a verse in the quran and your response isn't just....'read the quran'...it's something helpful.

You know you're an ex muslim when you can see the morbid irony when a person is walking around saying 'allah akbar' when their house has just collapsed.

You know you're an ex-muslim when you can say the word 'jew' without following it with an insulting description of them.
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Re: You know you're an ex muslim when......
Reply #209 - August 24, 2010, 11:01 PM

there is no language called "pakistani" for one.

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